Sunday, September 6, 2015

National Geographic (op. 350)

"Everything I know, I learned from the National Geographic magazine," I told my distant neighbour, Mary Assumpta.

I could see her taking that on board. She nodded respectfully, clearly understanding at once that here was a force to be reckoned with, a font of information, someone whom she should invite to be on her team at the next table quiz held by the Ladies of the Parish as part of their ongoing fundraising for the flat earth hypothesis.  She patted my arm and asked me to tea. Mary Assumpta is a good baker. I accepted.


A tribeswoman of the Western Atlantic Seaboard poses by her scant crop of sunflowers and cornflowers. Her land has been hit by the rains this summer and her south lawn is impassable. 

What Mary Assumpta didn't realise is that I meant just one issue of the National Geographic magazine.  Last month's, to be precise. If you want to know about the Jade Sea, Laos, taxidermy or Pope Francis, I am your woman.  Anything else: no.

Thank you all for your lovely comments on my last post. It is a matter of honour with me to reply effusively and individually to all commentators (or acerbically to the meanies) but occasionally my honour lets me down.

 

 

35 comments:

  1. Thank you for making me smile this morning. Honour can be quite exhausting at times.

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    1. It's true, Marianne; attempting honour while deficient in any major vitamins is sheer madness.

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  2. Gosh, I hope I'm not a meanie. I wish I knew lots of things from NG. WE do have copies in the school library- must do better. I'm afraid that photographs of my sunny porch are physically incapable of showing that, out of shot, it reaches high up to the full height of the whole house, and it would take a feat of Roman engineering indeed to conquer it with blinds!

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    1. Ah no, you're not a meanie, Mags. Or at least only insofar as you post photos of an enviable porch for viewing by the porchless.

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  3. I know what you mean, Mise. I often tell people that everything I know about women, I learned from Health and Efficiency magazine. I don't deserve the awe and respect either.

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    1. Don't worry about the misplaced awe and respect, Tom; I would view you with more of a benevolent indulgence.

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  4. There's nothing worse than an impassable south lawn I always think Mise !!
    When I was just a wee, young thing, our neighbours used to give us their National Geographic magazines when they'd finished with them ….. at the time I could tell you all about the hidden tribes of the Amazon…… and, they were always naked and we giggled our way through the pages !!!! XXXX

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    1. I was a reader's digest child myself, Jacqueline, and still live with the trauma of the Danger in Real Life series. There was a particularly vivid account of a bear that lingers with me. Everyone was always dressed in the reader's digest, though. Small mercies.

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  5. Good Lord, look at those sunflowers, and all the pretty things you have growing. Wonderful! I like to read about taxidermy from time to time, you don't see enough of it these days. I often come across things I would very much like to see stuffed. CJ xx

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    1. As ever, dear wise CJ, you and I are of the exact same mind: taxidermy is surely the stuff of life.

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  6. Red Wellies, red cornflowers. Well posed.

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    1. A tribeswoman thanks you, Joanne.

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  7. I like National Geographic, they had something on National Parks on Facebook and I found one in South Carolina I want to visit.

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    1. Who indeed wouldn't want to visit South Carolina?

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  8. Encyclopedia Brittanica was my reading material of choice growing up, the dictionary too. Then I discovered National Geographic. Nothing better.

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    1. Your childhood reading was more educational than mine, Donna, although I did learn smatterings of German from Warlord, AND your sunflower is bigger and brighter. Drat it all.

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  9. The south lawn may be impassable but the rain has certainly enhanced your borders Mise.

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    1. Thank you, Jessica. I value your commendation, being yourself a women of peerless borders.

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  10. Hello Mise,
    In true minimal form you choose only one issue of National Geographic. Only A Tribeswoman from The Western Atlantic Seaboard could glean so much information for which to entertain her tribe.
    Your red wellies rock.
    Helen xx

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    1. My red wellies thank you, Helen. Praise from a fellow tribeswoman is praise indeed.

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  11. Have you been to the dentist recently? I learnt everything I know from the Arthur Mee Children's Encyclopedia. Ten vols.

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    1. I will have you know Lucille that I paid for the August issue of the National Geographic, PLUS, and I repeat PLUS, signed up for a year's subscription. Huh. Dentist indeed.

      I had 10 vols of the Childcraft Children's Encyclopaedia. Would that have been better or worse than Arthur Mee? Better, I do hope.

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    2. I have irked you. I think this means I am a Meanie. Sorree. Your boots are nice. So is your cardigan. Your Encyclopedia was better too.

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    3. Well if my boots are nice, and my cardigan, and my Encyclopaedia is definitely better, I suppose we can be friends again. Actually, I think my Encyclopaedia contained Annabel Lee, which is a knockout blow in the Encyclopaedia wars.

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    4. It was already better simply by having a diphthong in its spelling.

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  12. Maybe it's been said before, maybe I am the first to think such a thought but I would like to follow you if you do tweet or stalk you on Instagram? I think, there, you will find the answers to everything. Ever. And I think your lifestyle shorts would be the toast of Europe, nay, The Worlde. {*}

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    1. Louise of behind the hedge, how lovely to see you again! I think you are more zen than I am these days, but I live to catch up. And I neither Tweet not Instagram: I know I am terribly behind the times with this fading blogging medium but so be it. The speed of anything else makes me panic.

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  13. Mise, at first I thought that your informative Nat Geographic contained an article about the taxidermy of Pope Francis. I blinked and my sight cleared.

    I love the sunshine filling this post, and found an impulse to visit nostalgic memories of the bookshelves full of Nat Geographics in my family's Virginia home. This was back in the 1950s. Can you imagine that we also had a subscription to Punch?

    Lots of biographical info in this comment. Perhaps too much? xo

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    1. Your past is so perfectly you, Frances, that no amount of info is too much info. It all fits in perfectly to the picture of a gentle, aware childhood.

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  14. Your garden of cornflowers cheered me immensely this morning Miss Mise. You are brilliant and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise!!

    xoxo
    Karena
    The Arts by Karena

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    1. Thank you, Karena! Laudably effusive.

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  15. Hey Mise,
    All I know I learnt from The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole. It's kept me out of trouble so far.
    Leanne xx

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    1. I will hasten to reread it, Leanne, so that i may be more like you.

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  16. You're just as I imagined you would look in your garden. Beautifully matching and equally favouring of colour love between both your rowdies. I'm very relieved that my speed reading was incorrect and the edition you hold does not in fact have an article on the taxidermy of Pope Francis.

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  17. Your one National Geographic seems to have covered everything one would conceivably need to know . Mary Assumpta will awed .

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You're looking particularly well.

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