Wednesday, April 22, 2015

insufficiently acknowledged

If I weren't so busy I'd write my book. A memoir, I suppose, or an autobiography (do comment if you can tell me the difference), featuring all the famous people I know and little anecdotes that portray me in a good but modest light.  Slim (very slim), with floral endpapers.




The imperative to write has been upped lately as I note the profusion of publication: dear Britta has cornered the international market in graceful housekeeping and the redoubtable Jane and Lance Hattatt are the authors of the entire modern gardening canon.   You yourself surely have a Human Resources manual on Best Practice Redundancy Procedures under your belt, or a pamphlet of poems. I do admire your poems.

Anyway, back to me.  All I have to my name is a few academic publications, a contribution here and there to other people's books and a smattering of thanks in their acknowledgements.   The thanks are never profound enough, if you ask me, never fulsome enough.  My own acknowledgements will be lavishly sprinkled with adjectives and adverbs, pages of the things.  Every acknowledgement will have a little barcode beside it, which the acknowledged can beep with their phones to automatically post in their social media feeds:


There will be a frenzied flurry of liking and favouriting and there we are: everyone will be happy.

All I want is for everyone to be happy.

37 comments:

  1. Dear Mise, hahaha! I will acknowledge you gladly - and if you had a little button here, together with a mirror that is incorruptible: "Paying for a smile", you would earn lots and lots!
    Do you know that your first blog post sentence is a variation of a sentence in E.M.Delafield's wonderful "Diary of a Provincial Lady"? (I learned that quote by heart in former times, but now I've forgotten the exact words - "I would write a book, if only I could find the time". I learned them because I met so many people with that problem :-)
    Maybe we both should make a joint venture? Think about it, it might bring us tons of money!!!

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    1. "Overhear one lady in stalls ask another: Why don't you write a play, dear? Well, says the friend, it's so difficult, what with one thing and another, to find time. Am staggered. (Query: Could I write a play myself? Could we all write plays, if only we had the time?...)"

      Yes that Diary is a tip-top book, Britta, second only to yours. Shall we embark on the first ever compilation of lifestyle advice in parallel text (German, Irish). So educational for young aspirants.

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    2. Oh yes, a wonderful idea! Yesterday I took a photo of a bath in Schloss Sans Souci - as it seems to be usual in blogland we can just pretend it is ours and set it as "standard" (or, for the very young: "What to strive for")

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  2. Hahaha, this brought a smile to my face so early in the morning! To note, an autobiography is the story of one's life in a timeline fashion, including as many details as possible from birth to present while a memoir takes a specific timeframe of interest and expands on it. This should get you started!

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    1. Ah, thank you, Karen; I understand now! The autobiography is surely the one for me, as the reader will certainly want as many details as possible from birth to present.

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  3. Dear Mise, On behalf of all your followers I wish to profusely and profoundly thank you for the wisdom and joy you impart to us. A brilliant tribute to Britta and The Hattatts. If you were to ask me whether you should write a biography or memoir, I would say the latter as you would enlarge, enliven and enlighten each memory. Please do put pen to paper and give us a story.

    Helenxx

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    1. If only I could commission you for the illustrations, Helen, my joy would be complete.

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  4. Dear Mise, you are a gem indeed and make no mistake I value your thoughts and words incredibly!
    I would go for the memoir, because I feel the world understands that there may be ones own memories embellished or not completely verified by others which always interests me! (not so dry I suppose as a line by line of events)

    xoxo
    Karena
    The Arts by Karena

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    1. A very good encapsulation of the memoir, Karena. I like your concept of embellishment being par for the course, but am hoping to line up a few likely shysters to verify the unverifiable.

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  6. Darling Mise,

    Well, we feel well and truly acknowledged by you and if you could just see your way over the Aga and pink sofa to let us have the necessary barcode for social media recognition then our lives would be well and truly complete.

    Of course, we now realise that we have failed.........monumentally failed.......

    There has been a disastrous omission on our part.......

    Too late, far too late to remedy the error......

    Surely global recognition and adoration would have been ours if only we had remembered.....

    Floral endpapers.......they, darling Mise, will be your winning formula for success.....and, the writing, of course!

    Happiness and love from your friends, followers, favouriters or call us what you will.

    P.S. Can we be groupies for the world book signing tour?

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    1. If my typing fails me, dear Jane and Lance, those floral endpapers will not go to waste: I shall use them to sandwich a published collection of your very fine comments here. Readers worldwide will find their inventive grace and charm instructive. We can iron out the matter of royalties nearer to publication. I am thinking 10%-90% but will go to 80%.

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  7. Ah Mise, you are always so elegant. Floral endpapers will be quite the thing. The trouble is your life is so full of the famous people and anecdote creating that there is no time to tell it all. Fear not, this is where the ghost writer comes in. A dowdy librarianish creature, who will happily craft many tales of your derring-do and show you in a flattering light that is all danger, excitement and exquisite chicness. All you will need to do is turn up at a suitably smart bookshop and sign a few copies with your vintage gold filigree Mont Blanc pen. CJ xx

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    1. I heard a slightly different take on the ghost writer's life in this programme only yesterday.
      http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05r3w3l

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    2. I'd like to appoint you curator of my life, CJ. Your sense of detail is perfect.

      I don't really feel sorry for the ghost writers, Lucille. Their sense of regret is a filling-up-airtime sense of regret. Like my didn't-accept-a-job-in-GCHQ sense of regret.

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  8. You had me at floral endpapers. I would love to read a book you wrote.

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    1. So it shall be, she said, taking it all at face value and painstakingly typing out a few draft titles. They Said They Would Read My Book, by Mise.

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  9. Interestingly, for me at least, this very day I started the memoir/autobiography (je n'en sais rien du tout) of Wilma Johnson. Did you know her when she was the West of Ireland goddess? Oh ma foi- are you her? Surf Mama with floral board?

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    1. What do you think of Surf Mama, Mags? I read the Amazon reviews and she sounds very scary.

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  10. Mise, the world is a much brighter, happier place because of your presence. Ain't no sunshine when you're gone, and so forth. Truly.

    xo

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    1. How very kind you are, Frances. America takes on an entirely more benign and dignified air because you are there.

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  11. Floral endpapers. Oh yes. Fabulous idea.

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    1. The floral endpapers support campaign thanks you, Denise.

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  12. My vast downstairs loo is absolutely plastered with framed, unsolicited testimonials from the Great and the Good. They tried hard to keep me as a secret all to themselves, but as you must know Mise, it is wrong to hide your light under a bushel.

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    1. It would take quite a sizeable bushel to hide the light of your artistry and individuality, Tom.

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  13. Is that you who is slim, very slim - or your memoir?

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  14. But I devoted an entire footnote to you, my dear, in vol. 6 of my Collected Essays. Was it not enough?

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    1. You must forgive me for not rushing downstairs to the library to check, my dear Ada; I am still in bed with curl-papers in my hair.

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    2. So glad to hear you are taking a firm approach with the hair at last, my dear.

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  15. A memoir records any part of a life but an autobiography is generally written in ones later years when most of ones story is known. A dear old soul in the village here, an opera singer of yore, is writing her autobiography, on the days when she can remember anything. Perhaps you should start making notes now dear Mise, lest the fate of our local songstress befall you in your dotage, and include a reminder to yourself that floral endpapers are clearly the key to sales success.

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  16. Thank you thank you thank you. The promise of floral endpapers and the hope of an entirely pink cover, perhaps with a shimmery metallic finish, is all I need to keep me agog for either a memoir or an autobiography. Your call. I once had a little book published. I was not allowed to make a dedication. My editor highjacked that honour with a dedication to her husband who she said had had the original idea. This was news to me.

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    1. Can you rush me details of where to buy that book, Lucille? I will write forthwith to the corrupt editor to remark that the original idea is flawed but the execution peerless. What is your subject matter?

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    2. I was going to say that I will let bygones be bygones, but clearly they are not completely gone or I wouldn't have mentioned it. Sadly the book is out of print but it did get a French and a Japanese edition in its short life. The subject matter was Christmas. It didn't have many words but they were all mine.

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  17. Dear Mise,
    Acknowledgements galore to you from across the Atlantic. What a fine, fun read and lovely photo, too. Your daughter's comment about the Brighton print being just 27/150 had me howling, in however a subdued UK style. (One hopes)
    I would buy a copy of your book, "you betcha." (Midwestern US colloquialism for "definitely.")
    Cheers from Colorado
    Also Pretty Far West,
    Diane in Denver

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment, Diane. I am sure the extent to which your amusement was subdued was impeccably judged.

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  18. Wanting everyone to be happy is one of the most noble of purposes in life, dear Mise.

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You're looking particularly well.

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