Sunday, October 26, 2014

She Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

My Great-Aunt Clarissa has written from Rome to ask why the tea towel she sent in 2007, bearing a humourous Latin inscription, is not among my three special tea towels.   It is because of the motorcycle spare part incident. Husbands can be so thoughtless. It was, however, a perfect present.  The reader will be wondering what to send me for Christmas. Tea towels, by all means.

Indeed, anything made of fabric. Myself, I ply people with blankets, cushions, and charming bags in which to store their unwanted blankets and cushions. This is my latest fabric acquisition: Agatha in Aqua for the landing window. Isn't it simply lovely?

Being on Bloglovin' has made me acutely aware of the scrapbooking menace in our midst. Grown women spend their time gluing little bits and pieces into scrapbooks and blogging about them when they could be chairing an international pharmaceutical conference, keeping a goat, or, as I do myself, strolling around the parish, bringing peace to a torn community by admiring the horses' heads on people's gateposts. Would that my gateposts were thus adorned, I tell them.

Word has swept round the Internet of Jane's new blue bench. I have flicked back through my 2013 Scrapbook Number 5(c) to find some images of my own blue benches, as I am very cutting edge. I have several, as you will see, plus a painting of one of them.

If you would like to be with Jane and myself in the madding crowd at the cutting edge, why not join the Fellowship of the Blue Bench? You know what you must do.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Nutella Scone

You must all be wondering why I have called you here to the library today. Is is so that I may show you my Nutella Scone.

[special dotty tea towel]

To make these, prepare your normal scone dough, omitting the usual small quantity of sugar. Roll or press it out into a rectangle, spread with a layer of Nutella, roll it up and cut it into slices. Arrange on a baking-tin and bake at a high temperature for 10-15 minutes.

Am I right in thinking you don't have a few special tea towels you keep folded away in the table napkin drawer, to be used only for blog photography? No, me neither.

[special pink stripe tea towel]

But if I did, I'd only have three: the dotty, the pink stripe, and a blue floral. I plan to raise my game and acquire more, or risk my blog being remaindered.  While I haven't posted, so many of my readers will have gone off to finalise their book deals, or launch their range of cashmere ponchos. They'll be too busy and important to loiter round here, shooting the pink breeze. The mushroom will show willing.

Lucille, if you haven't already read it, you will like Elizabeth Von Arnim's Elizabeth and her German Garden.  Sue, you too.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

the turbot problem solved

Are your dinner guests annoying? Do they congregate in your celebrity kitchen with a glass of wine, talking about how they've been, as you fret over the final touch of parmesan on the asparagus starter? Mine mill insufferably round the stove, despite my harried suggestions that they may wish to make themselves more comfortable on a Louis Quinze reproduction sofa.

And so I have frequently suffered the embarrassment of being observed as I stuffed the turbot clumsily into my normal copper fish kettle.

A bright new future with the turbot kettle.
I hope no one thinks I have bought shares in the copper mines.
Rather, I am motivated by joy.
Those sorry days are done. This is my latest discovery, the copper turbot fish kettle, 13 litre capacity. Turbots at my dinner table will remain perfectly turbot-shaped, so long as they do not exceed 13 litres. I would say the average superior Irish turbot is about 11 litres, so that leaves a safe margin of error, no?

Anyhow, the copper turbot fish kettle is now in my Amazon shopping basket. Amazon will leave my many tentative purchases in the basket for weeks and weeks, waiting for the day when I have had two glasses of wine rather than one and click on 'Checkout now'.

How would Friday next week suit you for dinner?
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