Saturday, April 7, 2012

the household sheet policy

A seachange in the household sheet policy is upon us.   For years now I've shunned the fitted sheet: it offended my sense of symmetry and was difficult to store in an orderly way.  How would I even pretend to iron it?

A glimpse of my linen cupboard. Odd how some colours prevail.

With age and weariness, standards lower.  I could feel the approaching rain in the stiffness of my bones the other day, and I sighed as I tucked in a flat sheet.

Already it is too late for you to type the words "moral decline" into the comment box: an order has been placed and a fleet of trucks has left a Fitted Sheet Emporium to drive day and night along the tulip-edged motorways of the continent toward the Irish ferry in Calais, cross the sea and rush westward to my house, Joe Le Taxi blaring from their radios.

They should be here by mid-week.  We can still be friends?

29 comments:

  1. Not to make you jealous, but today in town I bought a pressed powder that will keep my complexion shine-free for ten whole hours. It says so on the label.

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  2. Now you can have the additional pleasure of deciding what to do with all the old flat ones. Especially as certain colours prevail. You couldn't use them for just any old thing - like mopping up the rain, or engine rags.

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  3. If you saw my linen cupboard you wouldn't feel nearly as bad about your (very sensible) adoption of the fitted sheet. As for folding them - why?

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    Replies
    1. I would tend to imagine your linen cupboard as a softer version of your fridge, Sue - is it not super-tidy?

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  4. The sheets' truest incarnation is on a bed. You are solving for their soul. I don't find that reprehensible at all.

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  5. I bought a fitted sheet by accident recently. It wasn't until I took it and the cover out of the wrapping that I realised the dark blue cotton was also 'satinised'. H.I. said my bed now looks like Colonel Gadaffi's.

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  6. I am planning a folding a fitted sheet tutorial for you. But not today as it is my birthday. You'll understand I know.

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    Replies
    1. Because you mentioned it, Lucille, I spent hours on You Tube and mastered the theory. I feel that the practice may be a different matter.

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  7. Look up fitted sheet folding tutorials on Pinterest...it was all news to me! Mine are no longer in a ball in the hot press!
    PS.. are we alone as a nation in calling it a "hot-press"!

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  8. Oh dear Mise .... looks like you're on the slippery slope of dropping your standards. It won't be long before Pink and Blue daughter are packed off to school with non-ironed underwear !!!!
    As far as I'm concerned, if one is worried about the perfectly folded fitted sheet, one needs to have a chat with ones self !!
    Long live the fitted sheet !! XXXX

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  9. forget the moral decline, i'm more concerned that you IRON YOUR SHEETS?!
    you need to spend more time watching tv or on the internet, clearly.
    that is so irish!

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  10. My mother used to give us those nylon fitted sheets...absolutely horrible, full of static cling and they catch on the un-pedicured rough skin..that was a decline in living standards if ever I saw one.

    Welcome to the world of fitted sheets. If you google it, you can find a tutorial from Martha Stewart who shows you how to get the perfect fold and make your linen closet pristine.

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  11. I once met a woman who ironed her husband's underpants, so your capitulation to fitted sheets is still pretty tame on the list of The World's Most Stupid Household Chores. Just make sure you keep up your high level of hospital corner proficiency with the top sheets. Hope everyone at your place is having a gorgeous Easter break.
    Millie xx

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  12. Hello Mise,

    Congratulations on this major step.

    I am glad to see you sat back and held off buying fitted sheets till proven on the world market. I still cannot fold one properly despite tutorials and an Aunt whose instructions were superior to Martha Stewart's. That is an impressive linen closet, I need you to help me.

    I can just hear the lorry driver bopping along as he heads pretty far west with a song in his heart.

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  13. Mise, please tell me you were joking when you mentioned ironing sheets. I am allergic to ironing and thus avoid it at all costs. I gasped in awe at your linen cupboard, ours is a fling it in and hope assortment of towels, your folding skills are beyond compare.

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  14. Ironing sheets?
    Tutorials for folding?
    A hotpress that looks carefully arranged for a magazine shoot?

    I'm going to retire from blogging and just eat easter eggs.

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  15. Miss Mise I did note you said "pretend to iron" To further beautify your most lovely linen cupboard, there are tutorials on folding the sheets and the slipping them into one of the pillowcases to place on the shelf for a nice neat look!

    Have a Blessed Day!

    xoxo
    Karena
    Art by Karena

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  16. I hope that your fitted sheets are as deep as your matresses, other wise you'll be forever trying to keep them on. Good luck!

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  17. I've always had fitted sheets, and they've never been ironed. The shame...

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  18. My friend once heard a story about a woman who still uses double bed sheets and double bed duvet
    cover on a KING SIZE bed.

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    1. Uh oh. That's like me and my superking bed and the kingsize duvet covers it would seem disloyal to discard. No one must find out.

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  19. Oh dear! I fear that the term 'moral decline' is woefully understating the situation, and that the fitted sheets may just be the beginning of many dreadful and shocking things to come. We self respecting bloggers may want to think long and hard about loitering at PFW - someone might see us! What is the world coming to?!

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  20. As ever I have the answer.

    fly me over and I'll teach you how to roll. er fold the fitted sheet.

    maybe you can teach me to iron.

    xo Jane

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  21. Ahh, fitted sheets are great and I'm absolutely GOOD at folding them. I once impressed a man in a laundromat so much that he asked me to demonstrate folding it again.

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  22. You iron your sheets?

    You ARE a goddess.

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  23. Hello Mise:
    Today the fitted sheet...tomorrow, no doubt, the fast food. Dearest Mise, you must halt the decline before it goes any further. We note already that you have shunned the Witney blanket for the duvet but, please, we implore you, go no further down this slippery slope of slipshod housekeeping. Where will it all end......one day,will there be white sliced Mother's Pride for tea?......

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  24. We can definitely still be very best friends, but your lovely ordered cupboard will rebel against the fitted sheet, Mise. It will hang out all teenage like and encourage the others to join in with its wild ways, and pretty soon you'll open that door and find all your sheets having a party. But the extra minutes in the day (and your back) will thank you, so I suggest enlarging this photo cupboard size and tacking it in front of the shelves. All visitors on the house tour will peek inside and think beautiful descriptions in french about your sheet taming abilities, and no one will be any the wiser.

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  25. My name is Annie, and I have been (dramatic pause) using fitted sheets for more years than I care to remember. But in all these years i have been unable to bring myself to (slight sob, another dramatic pause) actually iron them. And (loud wail) I've never (sob) ever been able to f-f-f-fold them into anything other than a messy balled up lump...and my linen cupboard (slightly less sobbing, with large gulps of air) doesn't look anywhere as tidy as y-y-y-yours.....

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  26. But Mise! We are looking to you Mise!

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You're looking particularly well.

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