Monday, February 6, 2012

is steam cleaning a suitable hobby?

You'll have wondered why I've been looking so pensive lately, so full of care. You'll have noticed that I'm skipping meals, and remarked on the light burning late into the night from the top window. This is because I have been thinking about buying a steam cleaner.

It's not that my house contains any dirt. Oh no! I spend every waking hour polishing the copper and putting things back where they belong, dusting beneath them as I flit about. No one ever notices my efforts, of course, but one day I'll jet off to Havana for a week and people will see what it's like when I'm not there, how the contents of every room gradually creep into the kitchen and the dear little flowers droop and wither.

[very clean house, fancy cakes]

So I'm not sure why I want a steam cleaner: it's just a yearning, probably to do with being 41, a natural progression from making yogurt and becoming dependent on eggshell paint and idly thinking about upholstering a chair but never actually bothering to do so. I suppose the device will shine my windows and turn the teacups so that the handles are the right way round. I'll have more time to spend with the children and Pink Daughter will award me two stars on the chart she keeps to monitor my behaviour.

Do you have a steam cleaner and how has it changed your life?  Is it better or worse than a staple gun?

57 comments:

  1. I'd like one, but am suffering from BBD (Best Buy Disorder). I cannot make any purchasing decisions without weighing up product reviews. These conflicting opinions in turn produce a fatal paralysis, so nothing is replaced, however faulty or inadequate. Tell me when you've made up your mind and I'll buy the same model. I have come to trust your judgement implicitly. My staple gun was bought before the right to choose was invented.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That afflicts me too, Lucille, and also BPD (Best Price Disorder), which leaves me unable to finalise purchases lest things I want should be cheaper elsewhere on the big old internet, whereas I should factor in my time and just click 'buy' on the first website I check.

      I will telegraph you the very second a model has been chosen.

      Delete
    2. I avoid this BPS by making all of my appliance/doctor/childcare decisions based on the research of concerned conscientious people like yourselves. (Not everything- I picked my husband all by myself- though I did submit him to peer review.) Thank you for your vigilance.

      Delete
    3. Yes, a good idea, potential suitors could be vigilantly rated on the steam cleaner - staple gun continuum prior to peer review.

      Delete
  2. Ooh, should I get one? Will it make me actually clean things?

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    Replies
    1. I was sure you'd have one, Sue! One of the main motivators for wanting one was so that my existence would be more like your refrigerator.

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  3. I have one, it mainly grows cobwebs as I've been ripping out carpets and putting in wood floors to replace them.

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    Replies
    1. Worrying, worrying. I have no carpet.

      Delete
  4. I am not sure what a steam cleaner is, except for those used to clean carpets. Fortunately I have hardwood floors, which are easy to clean. If it would make you happy you should do it. That extra star is certainly incentive. Alternatively you could not buy it, and instead add the money to the Havana fund accumulating in the antique tea caddy artfully displayed near your pink teacups.

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    1. I'm not sure what they are either, Jen, but people allude to them as though they were modern saints. Mind you, you make not buying one seem like a natural lifestyle choice as well.

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  5. Hi Mise,
    Well, I've never had a steam cleaner and never will ..... life's too short ! It very boring using a duster and a mop once in a while, let alone getting out a bloody steam cleaner !! XXXX

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    Replies
    1. There, I was so wrong about Sue, but I absolutely knew that Jacqueline wouldn't have one, just as Patsy in Ab Fab wouldn't know what I was talking about.

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  6. I too have pondered the wonder known as the steam cleaner ... my sister swears hers has transformed her life, but it was decided a long while ago that she's from another planet so I don't entirely trust her judgement.

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  7. I like my steam cleaner - I have had it for many years. It is reassuring to know that it is in the cupboard, ready to deal with excess dirt, should the need arise. It is also a charming shade of red.

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  8. I have a hand held one suitable for small jobs, like cleaning grouting should you ever need to go that far. I have used it precisely twice and if you asked me I couldn't honestly tell you where it is. However if you are talking about a monster version capable of cleaning carpets, budge up in the top room there - I can come and daydream too. Since we have got our pooch our pale carpets look like Paddington's Hat, so many stains you can follow a doggie route map around the house, fairly disgusting really.

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  9. Hello Mise:
    Steam cleaning...oh no, we cannot countenance such an activity. Genocide by another name. What would become of our moths...they need a cosy, dusty home and love our carpets to bits!

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    Replies
    1. So long as Timea is happy, Jane and Lance, that is surely all that matters. She is with you on the steam cleaning issue?

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  10. I have a steam cleaner! Yes I do, and I wouldn't part with it. It belonged to my mother, the gadget queen, and I can tell you two important things about it.

    Firstly, you will never have filthy streaky scummy shower screens again, or manky tiles, or invisible germs round taps and toilets, and it gives you lovely curly hair as you work.

    Secondly, everything they tell you about it cleaning stains from carpets is A Lie. A very big Lie. But you can feel comforted to know you have sanitised those stains, and have nice curly hair while you're at it.

    That's it really. Photo on request.

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    Replies
    1. This is the comment I've been waiting for. What brand, please, Rachel? Lucille is depending on me so the stakes are high. We both want curly hair too.

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    2. Rachel, are you teasing about the clean shower and tiles? You musn't tease because if my bathroom tiles weret so scummy my life would certainly be in perfect balance. (If you are not teasing, ill it work for someone who's hair won't curl for anything at all?)

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  11. I worry that you may be going to the same place as francie brady's mother ...the photo is a sign/cry for help .
    Can I have scottish husbands email address? we need to arrange something.

    in answer to your question . Run!

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    Replies
    1. It's scottish.husband@theeveningsuntouchedgentlyon.com, Jaboopee.

      Delete
    2. He doesn't seem to be responding can you have him email me at elaine.cares @ runnakedthroughtheshadystreetscreamingalltheway.ie

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    3. You're suppose to be on vacation, not down at the karaoke booth, right?

      Delete
  12. You polish your copper. I see. My Mother-In-Law would really like you. No, I do not have a steam cleaner. I thought they were for rugs and I have wood flooring, but what do I know. If it will shine my windows I will buy it.

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    Replies
    1. The shiny copper masks my lack of hidden depth, Denise. Yours doesn't need to be shiny as you have plenty of same.

      Delete
  13. I've never owned a steam cleaner but I've witnessed one on television that actually sucked up M&Ms. (Although in our household an M&M would never make it to the floor and if it did, it would blown on and eaten anyway.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am thinking of adorning a lampshade with M&Ms so as to feature on Bromeliad's very popular DIY crafting blog. Hence the staple gun.

      Delete
  14. Save yourself money, and buy yourself a wallpaper stripper instead. Much more basic, but does the same thing and only costs about £25. It comes with different nozzle attachments and is basically a large kettle with a hose attached. I use one in the workshop to clean stone, and - like any other type of steam - it works.

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    Replies
    1. Good pragmatic advice, Tom, thank you. I will look into this. It is somehow more dignified to own a wallpaper stripper than a steam cleaner.

      Delete
  15. best thing ever... especially for floors without carpet. (this coming from the girl who cleans only at a minimum) but thats why i love it. it completely replaces the mop
    do it
    ~laura xx

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    Replies
    1. i think it pours drinks when its finished the floors
      ~ L

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    2. Lucille and I will join your club as soon as we have one, Laura. Put us down for the next round of drinks, please.

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  16. Someone told me that those things would clean your windows, your oven, your hob, your wooden floors, shower, walls etc. I asked how it did this and was told that I would have to guide it over those things! That means that I would be doing the cleaning, which is an absolute no-no, as you might gather. Buy one only if it can navigate its way around your house alone.

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  17. Well I like you, desperately wanted a steam cleaner, and once I had it I went mad cleaning everything in sight, now here it the cautionary tale bit.

    My other half did not screw on the water cap properly and I went to steam my floor and the steam shot up and scorched my face, I ran screaming into the garden, himself came running with a wet cloth for my face, it had bleach on it!
    I hid in the house for a few days, my skin peeled off. I then ventured out and the strangest thing happened, I got compliments for the fresh complexion!
    So free micro abrasion at my house!

    Take care

    Denise

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  18. I have a steam cleaner and it is a piece of crap. It soaks the rugs and then you have a cleaner but smelly damp rug. And a great big thing to stash in the cupboard. After I tried the cleaner I hired a man who did it professionally and did a much better job and he was cheap. Buy yourself some jewelry instead.

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  19. I don’t even know what a steam cleaner is.

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  20. After the steam cleaner it is all down hill from there Mise. Next thing you know you will find yourself blogging about needing a rolling iron. Better than a staple gun but not nearly as vital as the rolling iron is where I would slot my steamer, had I one.

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    Replies
    1. Móna, I have asked my sister and Google Images what a rolling iron is, but no luck. How cosmopolitan you guys are on the other side of Galway.

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  21. Too funny Mise...I have been thinking on one of those mighty steam irons..I don't know where it came from but I am obsessed beyond belief. The thought of ironing tablecloths, flat sheets, duvet covers...all these 100% cotton items that I now own due to love being spread around the blogosphere. Permanent press no more....it is all cotton for me and the biggest steam iron I can find.

    Maybe there is something in the air that makes us think like this??

    Jeanne xx

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    1. Creases are back in fashion, I hear, Jeanne - crisp, straight off the washing line delightfully rose-scented creased sheets. Dare we hope it is true?

      Delete
  22. I do not feel the need for a steam cleaner but I shall not turn 41 til the summer. I will let you know if the yearning comes to me then.

    I do have a staple gun which I thought I wanted but it is still in it's packaging more than a year after I bought it, so I must not have wanted it after all.

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    Replies
    1. You won't forget to let me know, Amee, will you?

      Perhaps I don't want a staple gun either then. This has been most instructive.

      Delete
  23. I don't own one and no doubt thats why I don't have any gold stars. I like the sneaky pirate cupcake. Those fancy cakes must indicate a happy house.

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  24. Hmm I have been TOLD I should get one!! A friend is truly obsessed, I mean enamored with hers!

    xoxo
    Karena
    Art by Karena

    xoxo
    Karena
    Art by Karena

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  25. Your posts make me laugh out loud!
    I'm the wrong person to ask about cleaning equipment, but staple guns are pretty damn good.

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  26. Interesting comment from Permanent Magenta about your cupcakes (which are totally joyous, as is the cake stand). Extremely apposite and very much on my mind after my recent post, The Delicate Art of Making Cake.

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  27. Lusting after a pressure washer myself, which I suppose is rawther butch of me. Already have a staple gun. Oh the hours we have saved putting balloons up for parties.... Oh the countless hole marks and broken staples we have left in the door frames....

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  28. *SOB*

    My steam cleaner may be on its last poufs...I may have overworked last weekend in a rare fit of cleaning pique.

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  29. Oh, give me a staple gun any day...I used a pole steam cleaner on my styling job...moving that apparatus around is like dragging your hospital IV pole down the hall for a walk.

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  30. Hi Mise! I never had a steam cleaner, but my Mam did and she literally went crazy with it! She steamed absolutely anything that came her way and it kept her very happy for several months until it burnt out from overuse! She now has her eye on a new high-tech one she saw on TV! So I think you should definitely get one!!

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  31. Hi Mise

    I would say yes to the steam cleaner if it came as a robot but otherwise wait till Apple develop it as an "APP" for downloading.

    Meanwhile keep up the Zumba classes and get on to Orbitz and book your flight to Havana.

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  32. Since I've been a little girl, I always dreamed of owning my own steam cleaner.....alas, though my dream has never come true, but I can always hope.......

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  33. I can't believe you do not have a staple gun Mise? They are so much fun. Not that I have a steam cleaner to compare, but with a staple gun you can do so much...stapling! But I would like to see you with curly hair, so that particular model of steam cleaner sounds like the one to get. And that Jaboopee, she makes me laugh! xx

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  34. I already have curly hair.
    There is no grub in my house. Not even the invisible sort.
    A wallpaper stripper once took plaster off my wall, so I'll stay clear of those too.
    Tadah!
    No extra work for me.
    I have plenty of time to join you in Havana.

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  35. I am past 41 and until now the urge has never hit me. I have to say I am anti-gadget. I do like my Swiffer, although my floors run to the hardwood sort. And then there is my Faithful Companion, a boxer. She is terrified of gadget, particularly any that would sanitize her space and make us smell less like a "pack." (Unfortunately.)

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  36. Too funny Mise ;)! My worries about myself are over! I was just looking at steam cleaners for a total duration of 2 hours browsing all the models and reviews on the net. All the possibilities and satisfaction guaranteed - instant rewards lol :)! I stretched as far as begging a friend for a loan of hers this week and there will be no stopping me. I might not be able to stop myself and be so desparate for new territory I'll be going around our neighbourhood knocking on doors and begging to be let in. ( You can even carry it on your back did you know ?) It is ALL POSSIBLE!
    I shall let you know how I got on unless of course they put me in the looney bin. Their loss ;)! Than You wont hear from me ......

    Hajni

    ReplyDelete

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