Wednesday, December 7, 2011

a Hidden Hurt

I was tweaking a wonky quatrain in a newly composed Blogtopian poem in which I hint at a Hidden Hurt when the phone rang.

It was X, wondering what progress I'd made with her present and why I'd unfriended her on Facebook.

"In fact," I told her, "that was another X, as I have two best friends, but the present I haven't got for you yet is even better, albeit undeliverable."

It's true. The French company from which I ordered it got in touch yesterday to say that my address doesn't exist. This came as a blow to me, as I've lived here for six years and received packages from all over the world in that time, including several incredible giveaway wins and, only last week, a Lifetime Achievement Award all the way from the Taiwanese High Consulate, as I told France vehemently.

And I hadn't unfriended X, but rather deleted my account on Facebook during the summer. You should see the great peace that has descended on me since then, no longer in the thick of things, unaware of everyone's sprightly activities unless they themselves tell me about them.  I've ceased to be pressured into Liking everything and can revert to my sullen self, not liking most things very much, except, as ever, your lovely hairstyle.

So that leaves X with little prospect of a present from me, down from 367 to 366 in the all-important number of dear Facebook friends, and forced to listen to the Blogtopian poem in which I hint at a Hidden Hurt.   "It's not hidden enough," she said. Who can blame her?


  1. Facebook, such a nuisance. You've reminded me of my thoughts of unplugging altogether. Remember the beginning of The Temptation of Saint Anthony (Flaubert)? The simple Hermit's cabin, the pitcher, the loaf of black bread? I'm assuming no Wi-Fi. This cabin is calling my name.

  2. Wow. When a simple, but poignant blog post, can garner a response such as Denise's, blog post deserves to be reread and perhaps reposted to my facebook page.

    I love you ladies. we're high flying here!

    xo jane

  3. I almost never check my facebook page. Hmm, deleting it...maybe I will :)

  4. Hello Mise

    We still want to read your "wonky quatrain" your next post perhaps?

    I think you should put pen to paper and inform his Honour Mr Sarkozy of your plight with the French company who are refusing to deliver your package. Someone gave me the lame excuse that Ireland needs postal or zip codes to avail of mail order delivery and... well, I just started singing "Oh the stranger came and tried to teach us their way, they scorned us for being what we are, but they might as well go chasing after moonbeams or light a penny candle from a star". (lyrics to the song: Galway Bay)

    Helen xx

  5. No Facebook account? Do you socialise the old fashion way?
    I have two Facebook accounts. The real me and the real blogtopian me. Oh the headache of two separate identities when one is quite anti-social. I'm tempted to write a haiku about it.xx

  6. I have never clever to say, but I adore your blog.

  7. I never know what to say to your posts other than I find them an absolute joy to read and you are far too clever for me to comment at the same incredibly high standard as the blog content. So, just bask in my admiration :)

  8. If all you have left to like of me is my lovely hairstyle I shall hurry to the hairdressers right away! I am so relieved to know that you have merely left Facebook as I too was wondering where you were. Unfortunately, I never count my friends (due to highly realistic expectations of remaining well under the 2000 level that good business prospects would require) but noticed a distinct lack of reminders on behalf of your page that I should be scurrying over right away to check out what you're up to, or 'help you' find more friends.
    Residing in France, I would be delighted to help you out next time with your French postal worries. Please feel free to use my address, I am on good terms with the post mistress and she never forgets my house :)

  9. I have deleted my facebook account several times (returning briefly because someone has told me someone has sent me a message and I should read it). Each time you delete your account facebook tells you that what you are doing is irrevocable, final, and irreversible. It isn't, you just tap in your password and you're back in amongst all the nonsense and trivia in a flash.

  10. I love Sue's comment! Dear Mise - or should I write - Dear Muse - I am sending you many empathetic thoughts from afore-mentioned France (Sarkozy I am terribly afraid has far more pressing issues to be dealing with than assisting a human in need) and I remind you that the French ADORE paperwork and useless data.

    There that wasn't much help, was it?

    As ever I adore you and your hairstyle but have nothing intelligent to say first thing in the morning (last thing in the morning is the most hopeful window) except that I have no use whatsoever for Facebook.


  11. I'm sorry you have a Hidden Hurt. There are not many rhymes for hurt. Unless it was about a skirt and someone was curt about the dirt and called you a flirt who was too pert. Could your parcel be sent poste restante?

  12. A Hidden Hurt - what a perfect excuse to refrain from too much Christmas festivity. "Sorry can't come I am suffering from a hidden hurt" I am sure I can find one somewhere if I look hard enough.

    Facebook Bah it worried me knowing what everyone was doing at various times in the day. There was I eating tea and crumpets, and someone would be reading Shakespeare or windsurfing . I started to feel rather fragile and folorn, best not to know that others actually do things.

  13. I don't know - you girls. Why you don't just get it over with a fist-fight is inexplicable. I hate Facebook, but there again, I have no 'Friends' - just real ones, and I count you amongst them, Mise.

  14. Mise, Thanks for the Hilarious comment on Facebook, one of my pet-est peeves...yes, the simple Hermit's cabin (as Denise suggests), the pitcher, the loaf of black bread...sounds like my idea of abbey style...a reprieve from the Madding Crowd :)

  15. Lamentably, I have a feeling people can turn off Hidden Hurts in their Facebook options. But all the more reason for Blogtopian poems, of which I'm sure yours is very fine, Mise.

  16. I,too dislike Facebook and have never needed to count obscure friends to boost my morale. ...and, most hurts are given out for all to see on Facebook ....bad move.
    .....and, now that your home doesn't exist, where will you be spending Christmas Mise? Feel free to come and share our table won't you ? XXXX

  17. Facebook....ordinary drivel...

    I deleted my Pinterest account in a huff one day...I imagine that is also a social faux pas. are refreshing and entertaining.

  18. Oh mise, have always disliked Facebook just do not get it and its boring, have slight hangover so my brain is not registering the hidden hurt and poetry, I promise I will pay more attention to your
    next post as I really enjoy them


  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

  20. tHis UnRelenTing over-communication
    is a constant source of surly vexation
    As I write the third line of this very quatrain
    [de dah de de dah de de something] vain

  21. I've never signed up for Facebook or Twitter - it's old fashioned(!) emails for me! A friend recently apologised for 'unfriending' me on Ravelry ..... I told her not to worry, my Ravelry page is so bad that I would unfriend myself, if only that were possible.
    As for the French claiming your address dosen't exist ..... well, I can't say what I was going to say as it would be extremely xenophobic - the Entente Cordiale is, alas, no more.

  22. Don't hide the hurt! Have all the hours of daytime tv taught you nothing?

    You need to bring the hurt out into the open, and let the vulgar gaze of the rude and scoffing multitude fall upon it. Let it be prodded, tested and featured in magazines not of the decor variety.

    Then you'll be so famous, even the French will be forced to concede the existance of your wonderful abode.

  23. Hello Mise:
    We really, really wish that we were able to ask just what exactly is Facebook, but alas we have, we must confess, heard the name.

    As Mr and Mrs No Mates, clearly Facebook has nothing to offer but to satisfy our voyeuristic natures about what others may or may not be up to.

    As for our sorrows, we wear them firmly on our sleeves, otherwise they are in danger of passing unnoticed. And gin and sympathy is such a tonic we find!!!

    So pleased to find you on the best of form, dearest Mise, and when are we to be delighted by the quatrain?

  24. I could never have a Facebook page while I was teaching and always felt as though I was missing something big. Once I opened one I found it most useful for learning all about LOLs and LMAO's.
    It did help when it came to correcting essays though.I once received a one liner for a book review....De book woz grt.
    Lve ur blg, s grt :)
    I just winked at you .

  25. May all hurts heal, hidden or otherwise.

  26. Ah, you always present such delightful possibilities!

  27. If a hurt isn't added to your Facebook status update, did it ever exist in the first place? Hurrah for hidden hurts! Meredy xo.
    p.s. so relieved about my hair...the humidity in Sydney has been appalling.

  28. Yes I am also a deleter, an unliker, a no-friender now. Very liberating. Now I just talk to random people I've never met on Twitter and blogs. Much better.

  29. I too struggle to stay 'connected' on facebook...and feel somewhat guilty for not doing so more often. I'm always much more drawn to fuller content, such as what one finds out in the that snobby? This is a daily thought & wonder.
    Best of luck with your besties present...I haven't even started the whole 'commercialism' side of Christmas yet...I'm waiting for that wonderful adrenaline rush one gets when one waits until the last's very, very helful!
    xo J~

  30. I do not like Facebook and after 6 months just gave it up. That is not socializing in my book and in fact I agree with the gentleman named Tom Stephenson!
    As to the gift undeliverable (due to non existent address), I am still chuckling...I live on a tiny (private) island on the Pacific Northwest coast which unless you check a nautical map does not exist...Thus the USPS gave us a nearby town's name and house numbers which could not possibly exist (there are less than 30 families here living year around and only 365 properties so why numbers in the 20,000?). Additionally there are no USPS deliveries (mainland only and accessible only by ferry), or UPS or FedX or...I am sure you get the picture! It is however BLISS! I hear the orcas singing, the seals barking and the eagles (all 9 of them) swops over the house...
    May this blessed season be all that you wish for and God speed!

  31. Wow, I have never "liked" anything on FB, prob because I don't really know what it means. I figure it sets off an alarm in Washington and I get tagged as a TERRORIST or something (now your site will be suspect.)

    And Mise, your address barely does exist, you must admit. I've been there. I know - it's not easy to find, and I bet they decided that when they saw you surname, sort of like I did w/ a certain O'hIfearnain.
    (smiley emoticon inserted)

  32. Facebook is so awkward. I'm sure I've hurt millions and didn't even know it.


You're looking particularly well.

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