Monday, May 16, 2011

the beauty of the soul

In recent years I've become inclined to buy stuff, even though I have stuff already. Lately, for instance, I spotted a metal napkin-holder and dished out the requisite euros for it, even though my unheld napkins had never really been an issue in the past. I guess that sort of reckless consumerism makes me ideal prey for the shops that sell polka dots.

I didn't give myself a hard time over it, though, but innocently delighted in the thought of the napkins enjoying extra security, UNTIL I unwrapped it, removed the packet of charming napkins that it contained, and realised what the blighters had done to me. Look what was written underneath:




Let me just stand back a bit and let you have a better look at that in context:


What if a guest were to take the last napkin and spot this egregious piffle? Surely they'd think I'm a bit soft in the head.  According to trusty old Google, it was St. Augustine who came up with the sentiment, ever alert for an opportunity to preach to napkin-users of yore. Imagine how he would have lost the run of himself if given the broader canvas of tea towel design, or wallpaper.

So what I'm wondering is threefold:
1) Should I discard it?
2) Or paint it?
3) Or go with the flow, wear purple and healing gemstones, and commission a set of Lake Isle of Inisfree soup-bowls?

30 comments:

  1. Run away. Run far, far away. Overt sentimentality is contagious. Next think you know it'll be all Swarovski crystals round here.

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  2. Serves you right for that recklessness! Wallpapering things is very in vogue...you could try that to disguise the sentimental napkin holder...xx

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  3. Don't feel bad, Mise. I've just bought another candlestick. Use you box for offering guests piles of condoms for their overnight stay?

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  4. Thank the lord. When I saw that picture in the blog roll I really thought you had gone bonkers. So pleased to know you haven't. Well, not very.

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  5. I meant not very bonkers, not that I wasn't very pleased :)

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  6. Hi Mise,
    I have to say that I have an aversion to anything in the kitchen/dining area that has a holder !!!!
    Be it kitchen roll holder, mug holder, cling film holder, foil holder, any holder so, I would bin it and just keep the napkins in the drawer. I think that 'holder's' come under the 'useless accessory' catagory. ....but, that's just me. What do I know ?!!!!....and Tom, I buy candlesticks on a regular basis too. It's an illness. XXXX

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  7. hahahaaa... awesome !!
    quite a dilemma but i would paint the whole thing hot pink
    ~laura

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  8. Well I too have a napkin holder that I use for large gatherings. I filched it from the flower shop. But you would have guessed that already.

    Just keep more napkins that you can possible need in it and try to ignore the sentiments.

    Or wait for me to come visit and hide it in my suitcase. When I get home I'll just think that I took it by accident. And I'll feel badly.

    Then I'll paint it.

    xo Jane

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  9. Just make sure there are always more napkins than any guest could possibly need... it'll be our little secret (and your other 3000 readers).

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  10. never let the damn thing go empty.

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  11. I think that photo gave me a cavity.

    My solution: the bottom-most napkin shall be glued into place.

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  12. I would offer it up to your girls along with some glitter, glue, beads and markers.
    I mean, really, no one can beat Tom's comment. But I'd simply put one condom in there, because lets be realistic about the people we know. Plus, the need to vomit upon reading such gibber could snuff out the desire, and save the sheets!

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  13. What you need to do is stick the last napkin in place so firmly that it can never be removed, hence covering the sickly sentiment and also providing much innocent entertainment when unsuspecting guests try to pick it up...

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  14. We're mostly of a mind here, that you should keep it hidden with, you know, napkins.
    However, if that's not working for you, please, please, please go for the Lake Isle of Innisfree bowls. The we can all come and watch as you try to serve them while trying to keep a straight face

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  15. Hello Mise:
    We think on balance that this, in our view, extremely naff container, should be dispensed with forthwith. Give it not a further moment of thought and let the napkins rooam free!!

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  16. Uh-oh, St Augustine has been at it again. I'd be steering it towards the local charity donation bin. I'm sure there are plenty of St Augustinians out there who'd be giddy over it.

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  17. I think you should march it back to shop that duped you into buying it, holding it ahead of you with just two fingers and your nose most daintily but decidedly wrinkled, drop it onto their countertop, and demand compensation not only for the trauma of having to stomach such piffle, but also at the duplicity with which it was snuck into your tasteful yet unsuspecting home. The snivelling scoundrels.

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  18. Paint over it! Paint over it!! Cx

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  19. If you want to keep it to stop your napkins blowing away at a garden party, I would take steel wool or sandpaper and rub off the sentiment. Maybe leave a word or two so guests have to figure out what it once said. That should keep them busy.

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  20. Buyer beware is all I can say LOL!!!!! I'm inclined to suggest that you should paint a warning under the last napkin, serviette, whatever, in latin or some other such nonsense. Swarovski crystals are a good choice LMAO!

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  21. Keep it... but you MUST wear this as a counterpoint ..
    http://knithacker.com/2011/01/04/love-conquers-fuck-all-vest/

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  22. Pour maple syrup in in the bottom and adhere sturdy napkin.

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  23. Or just tell guests to remove their glasses on arrival at the table. Then, like me, they'll be unable to read the drivel!!

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  24. If it were me (and it is not) I would never run out of napkins :-0

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  25. Oh Mise, where would I be without you to make me laugh!
    I think the purple gemstones would be very fitting and I'm sure the soup bowls would be lovely - for the bean soup you would make with your home grown Inisfree beans.

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  26. Give the thing to someone you really don't like. Maybe someone in the family. Maybe for Christmas.

    Darla

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  27. NEVER EVER! EVER! Let your napkins get down to ZERO!!
    No one need ever know. Or … explain to your guests that your napkin holder is purely decorative, and that the napkins are not to be used, preferring instead the fabric ones that you are happy to wash. How nice to have a giggle when I should be making lunch for the messmonsters!

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  28. Hey Mise
    oh the trickery of the hidden mushy message... how dare they..

    To be honest I don't think anyone can beat Tom's comment.. brilliant!! ciao xxx Julie

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  29. Poor old St. Augustine...may he rest in peace. You've all had so much fun at his expense... And I've had my laughs for the day, thanks to you and your nutty commenting friends!

    I say, go with the condom guy...

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You're looking particularly well.

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