Sunday, May 29, 2011

things I have noticed about blogging

This isn't an important post, like my important posts about cushions or my important posts about how I am feeling today.  I thought you might like a break from all the importance while Blogger is playing up. I can't seem to leave comments on your blog just now but you know that I love admire read you.

Here are some things I've noticed about blogging. They are highly technical so you may want to move right along.

1. I suspect many Google Friend Connect followers don't read the blogs they follow, whereas the rss subscribers and the darling old-fashioned bookmarking people do. And yet the follower count is an international mark of honour. Whoever has most followers when the music stops will win their own chat-show and a handcrafted floral headdress. I hardly dare to hope that it might be me.

2. My preference is for bloggers who post once or twice a week. Any less frequently and I worry that their quest for the perfect shoes has led them into unsuitable company; more frequently and the breakneck progression from their chandelier revamp to the new slipcovers for their sofa makes me feel faint.

3. The perfect number of comments for a blog post is 10-20.

[chocolate guinness cake]

4.  Blog posts should ideally include an image. This is so that a commentator can leap straight to the breathless admiration without struggling through the text.

5. Word verification tests for posting comments are pesky. The easiest way to deal with moderation is to set it so that comments will appear with neither verification or moderation for a week, and thereafter are moderated. The occasional alert marketeer will slip through with a link to their once in a lifetime yoga mat offer during the first week, but that's no great matter. Sure you might even need a yoga mat yourself. Moderation after a week is in case one gets struck by a bus and lies in hospital worrying about all the pathos piling up in the comments, or not piling up.    

Saturday, May 21, 2011

i like you better now, office chair

Inspired by Amanda's lovely Mad Men office chair makeover, I thought I'd finish the long-neglected task of recovering mine.

I don't have the heart to post the plebian original version, a boring burgundy chair that hung round grouching that it wanted to be in a call centre with its friends, discussing reality tv and the price of petrol.

I pulled the chair apart with my superhuman strength, tacked on some heavy cotton upholstery fabric, and clicked it together again. The frame holds the fabric taut.  Ideally I should paint the black bits white, but I've run out of steam and doubt that anything would stick to the hard plastic. Maybe one day some of those busy guerilla knitters one hears of will happen along and sort out chair-leg covers for me in a dashing red and white stripe.

Monday, May 16, 2011

the beauty of the soul

In recent years I've become inclined to buy stuff, even though I have stuff already. Lately, for instance, I spotted a metal napkin-holder and dished out the requisite euros for it, even though my unheld napkins had never really been an issue in the past. I guess that sort of reckless consumerism makes me ideal prey for the shops that sell polka dots.

I didn't give myself a hard time over it, though, but innocently delighted in the thought of the napkins enjoying extra security, UNTIL I unwrapped it, removed the packet of charming napkins that it contained, and realised what the blighters had done to me. Look what was written underneath:

Let me just stand back a bit and let you have a better look at that in context:

What if a guest were to take the last napkin and spot this egregious piffle? Surely they'd think I'm a bit soft in the head.  According to trusty old Google, it was St. Augustine who came up with the sentiment, ever alert for an opportunity to preach to napkin-users of yore. Imagine how he would have lost the run of himself if given the broader canvas of tea towel design, or wallpaper.

So what I'm wondering is threefold:
1) Should I discard it?
2) Or paint it?
3) Or go with the flow, wear purple and healing gemstones, and commission a set of Lake Isle of Inisfree soup-bowls?

Thursday, May 12, 2011

fair and square

My strategy in life is to keep doing something, anything, in the hope that one day everything will be done and I can sit down and have a nice cup of tea and one of those delicious homemade florentines you'd have sent me if only you'd thought of it. It never works, but the something I just did was to visit, which rose to the occasion admirably by choosing Janis of Pinecone Camp, excellent photographer and nice person, as the winner of the bag giveaway.

[Embroidery to be saved for a later post. That's me in the middle. I'm looking well.]

I was thinking of showing you the lovely picture my friend Annie embroidered for me lately of my Dublin friendies, but then it occurred to me that you'd be a bit cross with me, not having won yourself, and Janis would be the only person to pop graciously along to the comment box at her leisure and say it is beautiful. So I'm just going to set it aside for a later post when the Hurt has Healed.

Sunday, May 8, 2011


With the help of some valuable and considered advice, Scottish Husband has finally chosen a motorcycle.   It counteracts my raffish shed doors to give the place some gleaming petrol-fuelled dignity.

I'm too demure for motorcycle rides nowadays, although of course one stands around admiring the sound of the engine, but I may join the general vibe with a pair of white biker boots. They'd look well with a white cotton lacy dress, no, for the bohemian look?  Daisy-chain in hair, straw basket containing rescued baby hedgehog, always a bit late for lunch, that sort of thing.


And you may wish to dash off to add your name to the Permanent Magenta painting giveaway before it closes. Margaret, creator of my sunlit dress, is giving away this lovely bird.

The bag giveaway is still on the go here as well, and I'll draw a name as soon as my very next fit of enthusiasm and goodwill towards humanity strikes, more than likely after a smallish glass of wine.

Monday, May 2, 2011

wave wave and a giveaway

The important lesson I learned from the Royal Wedding is that I don't do enough waving. Ever since Catherine said "I will," I wave and smile whenever I enter a room or walk down the street, trying to strike a balance between distant and approachable, affable and eccentric. As I type here, briefly managing with the left hand alone, I'm waving with the right.  I know you'll wave back; you're that sort of person: friendly, indulgent, willing to join in, eager to show off your new ring.

And it's because you're such a dear that I bought two of these bags lately. One for me, as I suffer from bag-buying compulsion, but I doubled back to the display stand, thinking you'd like one too. It's made of canvas, lined, with a magnetic clasp and a small zipped pocket inside, the perfect size for carrying your Prada sunglasses and the proofs of your soon to be published book to the beach while your security staff lumber along behind with deck-chairs and battery-powered refrigerators.

If you have the slightest passing interest in it, or merely want to show your support by not rejecting my bag with hasty disinterest even though you intend to accessorise only with bold lemon and aqua this summer, just leave a comment to enter the giveaway.  Please don't become a follower unless you want to, or tweet about it or mention it to your famous friend so that she can talk about it on daytime TV. It's only a small gesture. One day I'll do more, perhaps name my signature perfume after you unless a last-minute headlong narcissism makes me name it after myself.
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