Friday, April 1, 2011

if you don't blog, you don't exist

Jaboopee was telling me the other day that if you don't blog, you don't exist. It must be true. After two weeks of no posting here, the viewing figures start to decline and TV stations worldwide get in touch to cancel my appearance on their showcase hard-hitting primetime thinking slot, as the 2005 Beauty Queen of Athlone is scheduled to appear instead. What a let down.

But my silence is with good reason: I'm not among my own lifestyle accoutrements. While my brother looks after my dear, dear sofas, I'm living in an apartment for the first time since I was a single woman. I don't think apartments have changed, but I have. 'Italian marble,' says the brochure, but it doesn't mention that the appliances nearly work. Just enough so that they are not actually broken, merely ineffectual. Except the toaster, which toasts magnificently.

There was a time when I wouldn't have cared, being out on the town and all. Casapinka and I put up with genteel pelmetted curtains and the wrong kind of tumble-dryer for years in those carefree days in Dublin. But here, once the appeal of the lift wears off, the children start wondering where to employ their superpowers (invisibility, rocket-boosters, fire-breathing). How much fun for the parent, you ask me, is an urban playground? None, upon the second visit. Ditto the library. Ditto Murphy's ice cream shop, though their sea salt ice cream is delicious.

We miss our garden and its snails and daisies and I miss my oilcloth tablecloth. Somewhere during these seven married years I have become Set In My Ways and will have to decline the post of Irish Ambassador to Borneo when next it comes up, even if the roofless embassy there has an equally magnificent toaster that pops sky-high and scares the starlings. Forgive me, Borneo, if your embassies have roofs; Wikipedia wasn't clear on the matter.


  1. oh deadspots are just dreadful and home is best. at least at home the half working appliances have personality and are like old friends; annoying, odd and perhaps tatty but still make you feel all comfortable to look and them and ultimately old friends. Borneo can go jump.

  2. I hope your brother has been well-trained in the art of Looking after Sofas. Comparative Cushion Plumping and Sofas in Society are prerequisites, you know.

    Take care in your urban village. xx

  3. Yes, you can;t trust some people to do the requsite flip, pouf and punch to keep the sofa with the right squish. I would be very worried and have a neighbour pop by on the pretense of being friendly.

  4. You really should write a book. (Not of poetry, however.)

  5. May you and your sofas be reunited in the very near future.

  6. But if you fall in the forest we will still hear you. If those photos are from home, I understand the city must feel full of puddles.

  7. Dead cow trauma! You sent me off to read about the demise of Marina- your time in city has hardened you.

    I was bored in your absence and had to start a blog of my own- just as well it seems, or I'd cease to exist and then who'd keep up the style round these parts?

    It has to be said I'm failing spectacularly at key parts of this internet lark- the images and the links-but if you're bored, you can find me at

  8. is hoping that you can make it back to your peaceful life with snails, daisies and oilcloth tablecloth.
    Hoping your brother is taking good care of the sofas.

    I find feed readers all to confusing...I am afraid I am well over 30 and at the end of the day I just rely on the sidebar. I am still hopeless but happy :)

    Daily Telegraph Lifestyle feed...I will have to check that one out...I follow it on Twitter :)

    Best wishes Mise for a wonderful weekend.

    Jeanne xx

  9. Lovely post- I hate it when I go somewhere and can't enjoy it because I am thinking about how much my monkeys would enjoy it too-

  10. Very wise, Chaina, very pragmatic. I wish you lived nearer and could pop by on the pretense of being friendly.

    Bromeliad, that wasn't
    The Kindest
    Of Things
    To Say,
    (A Poem)

  11. I'm glad that you do, at least, have magnificent toast. And that most days I do exist, sometimes twice.

  12. Have you done a house swap with your brother? That must be a shock to the system. I don't think I could go back to an apartment, now I am used to a house and I really need a garden for exiling of children.

    I can't cope with RSS feeds they clog up my inbox and I already get too many work emails a day.

    I am happy to follow lots of blogs, I don't feel bad that I don't visit them every day all the time. There is a life to be lived.

    And yes I too notice that when I don't post followers drop off!! Weird isn't it. Its as if you are being punished for your lack of vigilance. xoxo

  13. Here in the states, at least among the young, I think the attitude is, "If it wasn't videotaped (for YouTube, reality tv, etc.) it didn't happen."

    I would say I do not share in their narcissistic need to be broadcast, but I have a blog, so I shall say nothing further on the subject.

    May you be home soon.

  14. As a current apartment-dweller for the first time in many years, I sympathize with you about the ineffectual appliances. Recently our electric stove--which had been humming mildly along since we moved in in August, heating water up to just a degree or two above tepid--turned into a fire-breathing dragon that sparked and roared each time I turned the knob. Our landlady replaced it with a new one--not pretty or fashionable, but functional. I can now proudly make a proper cup of tea again. I'd forgotten what a joy it is to make things sweat and simmer and saute.

    I still love urban life, but I get what you mean completely.

  15. there IS no place like home,and there's nothing better than going home...i've told joe if ever we split up he can have the children,i just want the house .

    the second photo in 'ifonlyyoucouldseeme' was taken 4 days into a holiday i'd wished we hadn't gone on ..

    EVERY time you display your poetic prowess i feel envious and to answer your question thusly..

    the wheels on the bus go round and round
    so do we all so do we all
    google reader goes on and on
    even if you don't
    the only solace is
    unread items stop at 1,000
    even if you don't .

  16. Next time you need a housesitter, let me know. I have a smallish behind which wouldn’t do a great deal of harm to your sofas. and I am dying to come to Ireland .

  17. Are you participating in a new reality show - House Swapping? Sounds like pink and blue daughters have lifes and interests too big for these new confines...perhaps they can find new uses for the lifts.

  18. Oh my Mise I worry that I will be writing a very similar post once we switch from suburban big house to a UK teeny flat. I won't even have a magnificent toaster either. I've been non-blogging of late due to family, life and such and how quickly we loose the attention. I feel once again like a drooping daisy in need of water. Hoping you are united with the soil and the sofas and sending you good thoughts from hot Houston! xx

  19. I've never got to grips with feed burners or readers or whatever they are. I find the mere title of them frankly terrifying - like I might be fed the contents of blogs like a foie gras goose.

  20. LOL! Love your poem :) I hope you return home soon. Happy Spring to you.

  21. 30? Oh no. I feel a glutton now. I need to do some pruning.

  22. I was sort of thinking, when you don't blog dearest 'Misha,' no one else exists either ;-) From a city turned country girl, I can only confirm that should the father of my messmonsters find a job in Paris, where I lived for 10 years, he will be negotiating the mouse cages they call apartments, and puddles as a geographical bachelor!
    Long live snails, daisies and oil cloth tablecloths. May I suggest, for a change of scenery, (but alas, no sea salt icecream) South Western France. You are not obliged to eat the snails and maybe the daisies are not as polite as the Irish ones… but their is an oilcloth tablecloth and appliances who work more often than not :)


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