Sunday, October 17, 2010

back on the bus

I haven't been current since 2005, when the first child was born. Colleagues around the wine-cooler ask me what I think of the latest bands, and I smoothly change the subject to how best to store ginger (in the freezer, and grate it from frozen) while resolving to listen to Pearl more often. I'm still reading last month's newspapers. Recent authors of gritty novels have wasted their time; it'll be a year before I get round to them, no matter what awards they've won.

[currently reading]

I'm not even current with my blog reading, except of course yours. I rush to check out your latest post every morning, before breakfast. It gives me a little hop in my step. When you haven't posted, the day is a grey swirl, hour heaped upon dismal worrying hour as I wonder why you haven't rearranged a room or bought new earrings or had a go making your own bagels. Should I phone...?

... and then the huge relief and an organic ginger biscuit as you appear in my rss reader.

Sometimes I'm briefly current with the chores, and then a small figure covered in spaghetti and chocolate sauce (not that we serve these proletarian foods) looms out of the household mist, triumphantly saying, "it's your pretend birthday, Mama, and we've made you a cake out of everything in the cupboard."


[current husband]

It's not always that much of a hardship not being current. I've learnt to scan the news and ignore the spectator-sport of farflung human interest that makes up so much of what the media reports. I happily wear the wrong boots, thinking to myself as I walk down the street that those ankle-strap bootlets with high heels worn by the current people look so odd. They surely think the same of mine. My current model mobile phone has just been through the wash. Your text message, "a girl, Daisy Cheriebelle, 7 pounds 2 ounces" may never reach me.

[currently working on a very important guest post]

The question is, how does one get back on the bus ? Will there come a time when once again I can bandy immediacies at soirées or do mothers retreat forever into their own private time-capsule as the zeitgeist bolts heedlessly past?

I have a minor headache now. Stuck in 2005, with a minor headache.

39 comments:

  1. haha- as always YOUR posts make me laugh and smile-
    Keeping current is overrated- But staying in the moment is priceless-
    Have a happy pretend birthday!

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  2. I am nearing 50, and don't worry anymore if I miss the bus, which is a bit of an oxymoron for an Interior Designer.

    I get the impression Mise that you are unique and informed, which makes you very current.

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  3. Ha! Current is as current does. There's always room for wit.

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  4. I think perhaps I am a nostalgic pleasure, rather than a current fancy. The cutting edge sounds a bit painful for my liking. I'm also not too sure whether that bus will let me on with my growing collection of tea cups. One suspects not.

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  5. I keep thinking as soon as this is done I'll have time to....read more that the headlines or the home design section/recipes. I only hear new music cause way cooler bloggers than myself(who don't even know I exist) post links to new songs.

    And I have no children to blame this on. Just a life and a wife and a dog and a cat and a job and a garden and a blog and apparently much time to waste commenting here.

    xo Jane

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  6. Mise. You are a yummy mummy. You never got off the bus. It splashes rain puddles all over me at the bus-stop! Last week a friend told me who had won the Booker; I struggled to know anything about the list- short or long. I have in the meantime forgotten who won the Booker- and we're reading Jane and Prudence for our Book Club soon- so obviously that's approximately six other rain splattered mums at the stop with me! Hooray! Down with currents- we can't have lachrymose so far west!

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  7. Take up crochet, begin meditating, order a wood burning stove and paint your bathroom pink and you will be on the right bus that arrives early and unruffled every time.
    A current husband sounds quite fetching. I may advertise for one..
    {*}

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  8. So here is the deal Mise, by the time motherhood is semi-under control (it never ends by the way) or whatever other mode of life your 20s/30s/40s may find you in...you don't ride the bus anymore. Perhaps a broomstick, or your own pony, but buses are no longer part of your vocabulary. Toss the tickets girl, you've graduated to higher forms of transportation!

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  9. Some groovy young thing when hearing where I lived asked if I went often to some bar or other. rather than telling her I'd never heard of it and never went out after 6pm anyway, I lied and said it was 'faaabulous'. Seemed to work, for a millisecond I felt current...

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  10. Ah currency. The enemy of anyone with small children.

    My husband says he hates all current music and I say how could you? You don't even know what it is.

    And the pretend birthday and tea parties with food made of caterpillers and grass seeds is the latest trend anyway.

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  11. Mise..love this post. I can relate, wish I could say you will come out of this sense of bewilderment soon but no such luck :)) All I can say is make the most of it...someday you will be wishing it back again xx

    Jeanne

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  12. Mise...I was never fond of buses or public transport and dont intend to start now either! I ride on my own I can give ya a backer if ya want though!! Sinead x

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  13. I went through the decade-long TV revolt of the 1970's never knowing what anyone was talking about as I had all I could handle raising my babies. Funny how trends come and go whether you notice them or not.

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  14. You've shown 'current husband' - let's see the 'future' one (and let's see the same one too - none of this infidelity around here, please).

    Your kids are involved in currant affairs, when it comes to cakes, too...

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  15. I don't think I've ever been current, but I do at least store my ginger in the freezer, and grate from frozen.

    Maybe if you did serve spaghetti and chocolate sauce on proletarian occasion it would at least mean that there wouldn't be any in the cupboards for pretend birthday cakes?

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  16. your time will come again. you will ride the bus (or something better) i speak from experience. I LIVED TO TELL. altho i do agree.. stay in the moment. there will never be a better time that right now
    ~laura

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  17. Current sshmurrent!!
    You're current enough for me Mise..

    Hey I've seen that cooking show... At my sisters home when her kids were young... Scary indeed!!! Have a lovely week Mise and lock the cupboards!! xxx Julie

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  18. Perhaps being current only means that you have no mind of your own -and that does not seem to be your case.
    Spaghetti clad kids topped in chocolate sauce and surprising you with your own non-birthday birthay is actually as current as one can get, and certainly more important than the telly news. Congratulations - do you have to add this birthday to the birthday count?

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  19. Well of course you're not on the bus Mise—you're ahead of the bus. In fact, you're sooo far ahead of the bus that you think you're behind it, but that's because you're about to lap it. Lapping buses can be a monotonous sport hence the headache. All sorted. Go eat some cake.

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  20. Leave the proles to their "trends" and call yourself an "bohemian eccentric". If some uncouth youngster dares to question why one is not "into" some fad or other, tell them you think it "rather common" and daintily wrinkle your nose. Works every time.

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  21. You seem to be doing very good to be stuck in 2005:) I never have as many comments as you and I'm pretty sure I'm current. Have a great day!

    Amy R.

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  22. Of all your posts so far, this is my favourite.

    One need not be current, when one has rapier wit.

    P.S. I found myself in Urban Outfitters (groovy clothing and fripperies) on Saturday. I could barely contain the urge to shout "You IDIOTS! This is all just some crap from a charity shop. Not even a good one, like Weldmar Hospice, but a Mad-Cat-Lady one", before flouncing out. But I didn't. I merely fondled the acrylic horrors on the rails and pretended to get it.

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  23. The bus is overrated. I hope you are enjoying Rockingham's company. Say hello to Mildred for me.

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  24. you're fucking funny! sorry - no other polite word for it.

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  25. What's this back on the bus nonsense? You are already travelling in style on the blogspheric Happy Campervan, replete with multiple coffee cup/martini holders, tiered cupcake stands, trailing bunting behind you everywhere you go! You aren't following the cutting edge, Mise, you ARE the cutting edge. As you were.

    Meredy xo.

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  26. O, I totally love you, Mise...you're hilarious. What a mind you have! I always know that when your next post appears I'll be intellectually challenged. :)
    Have a NICE day. :)

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  27. My favorite phrase in this post: "My current husband"

    That made me LOL.

    Screw current Mise. Lets be eclectic, outrageous and completely out-of-style. In no time, they'll be writing novels about you and the red carpet will be rolled out with just a flick of your wrist.

    All while you eat bon bons with the girls and toast glasses of red wine with the hubbie.

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  28. In honour of the theme of your post, Mise, I felt I should be non-current in my commenting out of empathy, hence my empathetic tardiness. You're rather a classic though, Mise, so I wouldn't be concerned about which year you're stuck in.

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  29. Well, I'll be looking forward to your "very important guest post". Thanks for the ginger tip as well. Who knew? I feel completely up to date now.

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  30. I love reading magazines that are several years old, especially those that revolve around celebrty relationships. I feel like a prophetess as I I shout to the happy couples "He's going to dump you in a year for the nanny."

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  31. I don't think I've ever been current; now I don't even have a wine cooler, or colleagues!

    Twitter tells me what's happening, but in a cheerful, superficial way so I can be entertained or outraged, but only for the time it takes to read 140 characters.

    The measure of your commenters is that we're happy enough not to be current, as long as we have you to keep us right.

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  32. I feel exactly the same re my boots and other people's boots. Perhaps we could walk down the street together sometime?!

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  33. I am most decidedly not current. I don't even have kids, so I don't know what's my excuse. I do cook with currants, though, which I soak before adding to recipes, and I, too, freeze my ginger.

    As for Barbara Pym's Excellent Women, I read that book in college and loved it then. I wonder if I'd love it currently?

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  34. The only currency I worry about is when the dollar is up or down. It takes currency to be current.

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  35. Oh Mise, you've verbalised exactly how I feel most of the time too. Except I'm not sure that I ever was hip and groovy, which is perhaps more of a worry. At least you once were current. And you're the funniest hasbeen I know! xx

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  36. I feel exactly the same way and I don't even have children to blame so what's my excuse? Like Devon, the "current husband" caption gave me a huge chuckle. :D

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  37. I'm with you. There's just too much to keep up with, anyway, particularly with books, media, etc.! The main thing, Mise, I wish you could get rich and famous from your writing. I just love it! You have such a way with words. Hmmm.

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  38. oh you are too delightful! And I am just about to sit down with two friends/students for a mid-class ginger biscuit break!! no kidding:) Please drop by.

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  39. Ha. Yes, well... Let me know if you catch it. (Perhaps we should just content ourselves with the seats by the fire, no?) :)

    xoox
    -maria

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You're looking particularly well.

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