Friday, November 20, 2009

unrequited love and a train accident

After my bout of creative muttering and sprucing up the juvenilia, I decided the best approach to this Christmas Poem contest was to ignore most of the suggested topics, even the elf, and go straight for that old reliable theme, unrequited love, with a train accident thrown in for Christmas cheer.

A Suitor Finds His Love No Longer Suits

Yes, I know I said I'd dance you
To land's end and on;
Your shoulders reflected candlelight
As we spun to Gershwin songs.
I recall how the walls slipped moorings
With your lowered eyelids;
We dwelt in sheets and scented suds,
High on dalliance stilts.
Yes, I made you all those promises
And vowed I'd hold them fast;
I knew not then their fragility,
Their shelf-life now long past.
I loved you for your two fair legs,
Till the fall that befell you
For since that train mowed you down,
You're half yourself, and blue.
Yes, I gave you gems, my legless dear,
And every cliché I know;
I thorned my thoughts with yearnings
To pluck your red, red rose.
But I'm downing rose, and cannot stand
By all we said we'd do,
For if, my love, you cannot stand,
Then why should I stand you?

I'm not very confident of winning but the unsuccessful giveaway entries have taught me acceptance and stoicism.


  1. Oh, Mise... *sniff* It's so beautiful..... *sob* It's a winner with me xx

  2. Perhaps B and I should recite personal vows after all.... may I borrow that?

    Quite glad I found you... so sorry 'bout the train accident

  3. Oh balls there was a typo in my last comment, and I've somehow managed to delete the whole thing!

    What I was saying was, this seriously reminds me Yeats (now bear with me as this is off the top of my head...). If the girl in this saga could respond, she'd be saying 'Others because you did not keep that deep-sworn vow have been friends of mine; yet always when I look death in the face...' etc etc. It will be criminal if you don't win.

  4. Don't you just hate those christmas train accidents?

    Great poem and title and what a cad that suitor is ...loving someone just for having legs that strech from thigh to toe is so fickle....

  5. Poetry makes me think of Pooh Bear - the difference is that I am the person of very little brain who has the Wrong Sort of Brain to comprehend it properly. But even I can see it is a lovely poem with a streak of Irish black (ie death) in it. Well done. xoxo

  6. I'd like to be clever enough to say something profound, but can I just go with f-ing awesome instead?

  7. that is intense.... should be a winner

  8. Mise, your talent shines through. You are a gifted poet, make no mistake and, although the giveaways have eluded you, the poetry will win through.'re a winner with me. XXXX

  9. Is there no end to your talent? All this and able to bake a wicked banana are a card carrying genius! How could you possibly not win? Thanks for sharing your talent with us mere mortals. Meredith xo.

  10. You guys are wasted on masterminding international freight transport or whatever else you do for a living. You should have a full time job judging poetry competitions. My trophy shelf would be a better place for it.

  11. You certainly have a way with words Mise.. and surprise endings...

  12. Mise, your talent knows no bounds ~ though your poetry is intimately acquainted with a bounder. Bravo!!

  13. What a twist at the end...good luck...I think you should win too.

  14. hahah! I love it! Well done Ms Mise PFW, that was a hoot.

  15. Well these are indeed cheerful Christmas thoughts, and your talent knows no bounds. The truth is I thought it all started off rather seriously, and then of course the old train accident came along, and then I knew it really was you writing it after all. Love it! I'd vote for you!

  16. Hey Mise
    What a witty thing you are
    I love it
    I think you should definitely win .. whatever it is you are trying to win.

    Thanks for the comments over my way.. if only sleep was on the agenda xx Julie

  17. Ah, nicely said, Shell!

    Gwen, thanks for visiting; it's nice to see your stylish image here.

    Thanks Fiona; you've a fine turn of phrase yourself if you were inclined to produce a couplet or two.

  18. thanks for telling me
    about the poetry

    It's Because of you
    i've entered the contest too

    i hope if i win it
    you won't have a hissy fit


You're looking particularly well.

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