A letter came home with Pink Daughter lately telling me that her school would be closed for a day for health and safety reasons. This appears to be the new way of saying 'because of civil service strike action'. I'm delighted with this original method of expression, and think it could be quite widely applicable. I shan't be able to attend christenings or pay taxes in future for health and safety reasons. You may feel you can't comment on the Coconut Ice for health and safety reasons. That's ok. Our health and safety is paramount.